Be You Be Here

You are allowed to be you

You are allowed to be here

Those sense of words that I wished to hear as a child

But my family home wasn’t the case

I was not allowed to be who I was

I learned to depreciate my existence

The lack in the sense of love and belonging

will reappear in your adulthood as difficulty in your human connection

I’ve leant over time that it is possible to fill the huge hole in your heart by yourself

little by little

Often you hear ‘love yourself’ but not really sure how?

I reckon that is not me alone doubting this big task

First and foremost

Accept the whole of you

including that part you dislike and all the flaws

Never beat up yourself

Never abandon yourself

Never be your enemy

Those ‘never’ can be hard to keep I know

and more often than not

you can’t

Accept those who cannot

Oh I did beat myself up again, didn’t I?

It has been hard as such

It is ok having to beat myself up and that is also me

You start to accept you even the one who beats yourself

instead of denying or beating one again and again

This is the thought process of “negirai” in Japanese,

helps reduce the arrows that aimed at you

Your existence itself is worthy of love

You, only you in this world,

can reach out to yourself

Each day and every day

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It all started with Betty.

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something unchanged